Military life?

It seems so weird sometimes to think that I; a vegan, gardening addict, book reading, knitting, animal loving, kindergarten teacher wanna be is in the military now. Don't forget this was out of a dire need to survive and somehow escape the thought of not having a roof over my head. I just disagree with so many things in the military struggle, however I understand the reason that the military exists. So where do you draw the line?? Or is this one of those gray areas that I am given grace for in my life, I just understand why so many people act the way they do or choose the lives they choose. Maybe it was where they were born, their culture, or their parents? Who raised them, who was there to mentor them. Is war ever really an answer? No, but if America did not have a military would it exist? No. I don't believe we would continue to exist as a country without a military and there have been many lives given to that cause, lives that I take very seriously and am not in any way disgracing by writing this I am just intending to ask which is the higher path to take? Join war or turn your back and let others fight (for whatever reason they are fighting). Where do we all go, which paths do we choose, which are we supposed to choose? Over the centuries people have fought for one word foremost among all others "Freedom", the right to choose, the will to live according to one's own thoughts; conscience. The craziest part to me is that we all continue to just spin around in space and pretend that there is anything really all that new about War. I guess the most I can say is that I intend to live a very conscience minded living while I walk this earth and that does not include mindlessly killing anything on the side of the 'enemy'.